Deadbeat Dad

I generally like posts published over at The Good Men Project.  The site publishes articles and blog posts about feminism, men’s rights, fatherhood, sex, porn… It presents often unique viewpoints on really difficult topics.  Some are good and some are less good but I generally find them interesting, well-written, and thought-provoking.  I read a post there yesterday, though, that has me wondering what the Project’s publishers were thinking.   The title:  How I Became a Deadbeat Dad, written by W.F. Price.  Price runs his own website called The Spearhead, which includes on its blogroll such titles as False Rape Society and Wikimannia (“This Wiki is a knowledge base about the discrimination of boys and men.”)  The Spearhead also includes an article about the family court system that, at its core, argues that “men face something akin to a medieval inquisition during a custody dispute.”   My regular readers will know that I work on family law issues with domestic violence survivors.  Many of my clients seek child custody and child support.  Most are also seeking divorces.  Many also return to court many times to file contempt motions against the fathers who refuse to pay support for their children.  So I come to this with a bit of a bias, and I admit that freely.  But I have little patience for a man who writes that he is in arrears on his child support payments because of his wife, the judge, the opposing attorney; you know, the system.

Price was investigated for allegedly making death threats.  He was investigated not once, but twice for abuse against his own children.  He notes that “my ex, under the guidance of her mother’s lesbian, feminist friends, started claiming [a history of] abuse.”  So there are all of those things. In the end, opposing counsel presented a stipulation that required Price to attend parenting classes and anger management counseling.  (Anger management counseling is often ordered for individuals who abuse their wives or children or who otherwise act out in violence.)  The agreement also included a set amount of child support to be paid to the children’s mother.  Price fell into arrears on his support obligations almost immediately.  The good news is that he doesn’t care.  ”Yes, it sounds like an awful mistake, but to me, the time with my kids was worth it. They can throw me in jail, make a pariah out of me, or proclaim me a worthless deadbeat to the entire world, but I am not in the least bit ashamed—my conscience is clear.”  That’s great.  Mr. Price, you know that your kids need food and clothes and school supplies and all sorts of other necessities, right?  This is not about you. This is about your children, who have a legal right to support from their father.

Price has some advice for all you men out there:

Never go into marriage or fatherhood without being fully aware of the risks they entail. Never look at a young, willing woman without a critical eye, and always be prepared for the worst. And, if you should ever find yourself in this position, don’t lose faith or despair—they can take all your worldly possessions, your children, and even your freedom, but they can never make it right, and there are such things as honor and goodness in the world. Believe it, for yourself and your kids, if for nobody else.

 

Good fathers are out there. They pay their ordered child support willingly, because they understand that their children often need that money. I refuse to believe W.F. Price represents the majority of divorced fathers. I refuse to believe that most men look at marriage and fatherhood as solely financial risks and that most men consider having children while being “prepared for the worst.” This is not honor and goodness, Mr. Price. This is selfish, self-serving storytelling.

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