I’ve been worried that I made the wrong choice. In the past few weeks, I began to think that maybe this was all wrong. What if I don’t want to be a lawyer after all, and what if law school was the most expensive mistake of my life? Maybe I don’t like this. Being a lawyer is laden with responsibility. It’s stressful to be handling some very important pieces of clients’ lives. And the work can be tedious–I spend lots of time returning phone calls, filling out forms, and leaving messages for people who I know will not call me back.
And then it gets fun again. I’ll be in court today. We’ll be working out some important details in today’s hearing and I’ve been prepping for this all week. I think I had forgotten how much I love this part. I love working out a theory of the case. I love juggling facts and outlining arguments. I have even grown to love the anxiety and excitement of being in a courtroom and standing before a judge. I love walking into a courthouse in my suit and feeling that buzz of being real. In a courthouse, I’m tangible. People read what I write and they listen to what I say and it matters.
So what if this is just a grand game of pretend? Am I just here for the stage performance?
I don’t know; I can’t answer that right now. Right now I have to put on my suit, grab my files, and head to court.
“So what.”, indeed. You’re doing what you love, and it matters. You’re impreoving people’s lives. What could possibly be better than that?
Thanks, Mark. I am doing what I love. What more could I wish for?
Grumble, I hated that feeling while I was in law school.
Glad I’m not alone.